You didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

I came across this poem on another blog site today, and just had to steal it! As I will not be biologically related to our first child, I felt this was a really sweet sentiment. It rang true for me.

Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart,
But in it.

I keep hoping that maybe soon, we will finally get some positive news on this front. Maybe for Christmas? That would be nice...

Wow, its been awhile!

Yes, we disappeared for awhile. Lots has been going on lately... family stuff, work stuff, life stuff. All that jazz that comes along with existence. I'll do a quick sum up so as not to bore everyone too much with mundane details.

We are going on our trip in 8 days. I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to it. I think both of us can really use the change of pace, as work schedules have been nuts lately. Getting up at 4am to do extra work is just not right!

Also, our poor snake, Todd, is going into the vet for the last time on Friday. He is officially showing symptoms of the later stages of his disease, and his quality of life is no longer outweighing my want to keep him with us. It kills me to have to do this, but I know the alternative, and its not any better, and ultimately selfish of me. So, wish us luck for Friday. I'm going to be a puddle of pathetic, no doubt.

On a happier note, we are planning to start our first insem when we get back from our trip, around the start of November. Though that seems very far away at this point, I know its going to come up fast. After 6 months, we are finally getting back on track! Everything is still all set up from before. Our swimmers are ready, our doc is ready, now we just have to be ready and its a go. Lets hope after all of this that we get preggers on our first try! Well, it would be nice... ;)

And of course, since things are super busy, we have decided to add in some more fun, and are trying to purchase our first home. We have already been house hunting a bit, and are working on loan details and all that. Just in case you were worried we would be bored... lol! We are going to try and finalize something by the end of November so we can qualify for the tax credit. If not, thats okay, but we are going to try. Then off to see family for the holidays!

All in all, our world is crazy, but the two of us are hanging in there. Wish us luck for our safe return home, and not getting any strange overseas illnesses that would prevent us from going forward in November. We are almost there!

Babies, everywhere!

Well, I think the full moon recently has brought out the babies! Three, yes, three, of our friends have given birth in the last week or so! Amazing. Three little boys. Its been crazy cool to hear the birth stories, see the first pictures, and even one video. Beautiful little ones, with teeny tiny toes and round little bellies. I am, of course, so happy for everyone, and a little jealous at the same time. Nothing new there. I just can't wait until we get to have our own. Patience has never been my strong suit. hehe Its just so cool to see all the brand new babies. They are all so perfect... truely little bundles of joy.
On that note, I think we may be waiting just a little bit longer. We have a trip coming up in October, and we arent yet sure that we want to be in the first stages of pregnancy on the vacation. (Morning sickness, tiredness, stress and such) So we may be waiting until November to try our first go. Still not 100% decided on that yet, but its looking possible. Which means if we got preggers our first try, our little one would be born in September of next year. So, almost exactly a year from now, we could be parents! That's both thrilling, and kinda a mind trip too. Wow... in a year we could be mommies. Amazing to think about. To see our child for the first time... oh, it gives me shivers. :)
In the meantime, we are poking around looking at houses (our apt really isnt condusive to another addition, its kinda cramped), and still playing nursemaid to the sick snake. I think we are going to have to make some tough choices pretty soon regarding the snake situation. Though he is eating, the poor guy just doesn't look good, and during one of his injections recently he actually hid his head under his body, trying to get away from me. Ugh. I feel like the worlds biggest jerk every night when I have to go in there and give him his meds. How do you weight the quality of life of something that can't communicate with you? We have both agreed the Todd is our last reptile pet. I just don't think they are meant to be pets anymore. We'll stick with our little dog, and leave it at that.
Oh a positive note, Brandy is doing much better with her back. I am amazed to see her progess today from the start of this whole thing. She's been very good about doing her back exersises everyday, and bending properly and such. Her limp is gone, and her stamina is returning. We are getting more active again, and trying to eat better. We still have spells of bad food, but on the whole we are making decent progess. We havent been to a fast food joint in a really long time, and I am proud of us! Not easy to pass up tasty fried things. lol
Overall, i am very much looking forward to what the next 365 days have in store for us. I think this is going to be a great time in our lives. :)
P.S. A huge thank you to those who have recently had babies, and are kind enough to still keep us all updated! I know you must be tired and busy, and you still have time to think of us out here in babyland. You're awesome!

Finally!! Back on Track!

It has been a looooong while. Almost 2 months since I injured my back. I'm happy to say that the Dr has given me the green light for normal activity finally. This includes ttc. Woo-hoo! No surgery needed, no need for fear of pain while pregnant. Apparently there is safe treatment during pregnancy if need be.
Timing is funny as always though. AF just arrived a few days ago so this cycle is out but I'm ok with that. One more month of getting stronger. Plus, I have to confess I fell off the baby wagon a bit while recovering. Not eating as healthy, obviously not as active (on purpose), lapsing on the folic acid/vitamin intake. So tomorrow we start again. Time to make this holiday inn a sheraton!

POOF!

I don't think about updating here much lately. What can I update? Hi, I'm still waiting. Screwed up my back and now ttc may be in the distant future...ay yi yi. I am certainly an impatient person when it comes to some things. I'll take too long to make up my mind - but then when I do, watch out! I need to do it NOW.
Soooo, now will have to be a few months it seems. I'm making steady progress with my back injury. Had my first physical therapy session on Friday. It was quite informative and seems to make a difference so far. But I'm still thinking about the surgery. With visions of baby giggles floating around in my head and the upcoming big trip to the Mediterranean in October I lean more towards just going for it. Get it done, recover then we're back on track. Running marathons, acrobatics, body-building......oh wait, I didn't do that in the first place, huh? Ok, I'd settle with hiking around some ruins and growing a baby. :)
I just turned 34 this month. 34....the magical last year before the evil 35 marker. I never thought I'd feel any pressure from my age - but here I am. Of course it doesn't make sense that suddenly on a certain day next June my chances for conception will immediately reduce - but the Dr's sure make it seem that way. "Oh, you're only 34? Well, then, you shouldn't any trouble. A year down the line however, POOF! Good luck, Sucka!" hehe
This biological clock is getting louder and louder!
Anyway, I'm still here. :) Just trying to make myself healthy again and gladly readin up on everyone's blog.

Dumb disc

Ohhhh the complications of the body.
I'm feeling better, thankfully - but it seems my back has a vendetta against my ttc plans. After multiple delays with dr's reports and insurance approvals, etc., etc., I finally had my MRI. The MRI itself was pretty easy I'm glad to say. I was a little worried about being claustrophobic. But 20 mins of relaxed breathing, keeping my eyes closed and thinking about a Brad and Angelina article I just read in the waiting room (you'd be amazed at what will work when stuck in a tube!) and it was over. I think it's safe to say that will be the closest I EVER get to spelunking!
Anyway....MRI results with the doc - a little worse than I thought. I now have a consultation tomorrow morning with a spinal surgery specialist. Yikes. I'm assured that the potential surgery is fairly simple and done on an outpatient basis but still...that's my spine! Turns out the disc is herniated a whole lot. The disc is sticking out and the jelly like substance in the center is now leaking out. Lovely thought, isn't it? So from what I understand the potential surgery would suck that goop out. So we'll see tomorrow if that's what they would like to proceed with.

Needless to say, this next month of ttc is out also. I'm certainly glad to get myself fixed first but it's a little discouraging that I keep having to wait to jump on the ttc bus! All that crazy prep and we hurry up and wait. Dumb disc jelly-crap....
:) Glad to have you all to vent to.
Wish me luck ladies!

Getting Back on Track

Finally, my poor body is feeling some relief. No thanks to any doctors. I'm supposed to get a MRI to confirm the herniated disc but it's still not scheduled. Apparently they needed a week to write up the doctor's notes first. Lovely. Really, I've only been anxious for the MRI so I can then get the cortisone shot. I guess my body is doing it on its own, just very slowly.
Finally in the last few days I've been moving around and not feeling so much pain. Like being a real person again. Phew...
So hopefully this will mean we can go ahead and try our first insemination at the end of this month. I was worried - but now anxious and optimistic again. I'm taking this as a blessing in disguise. I now know how much I need to take care of my back. Better to learn this now then if I were already pregnant.
I've tried to also think that the delay has been good since we have a big trip planned in October. Turkey, Greece and Egypt. Better to not be super pregnant and traveling to the other side of the world!
Its been a rough 2 weeks. My back issues and we also have a sick pet that has been diagnosed with an untreatable virus. I'm so thankful its the weekend and its been beautiful out here in CA. We'll get there.

BTW - Chris and I went to see UP in 3D last night to help lift our spirits. And lift it did! :) Highly recommended. It was super cute and funny in some surprising ways.